Any suggestions?
I have a friend and neighbor that I have been going out with quite a bit lately and I keep finding myself at a moral crossroads. While I enjoy her and her friends company they often like going out dancing, going to bars, or our latest outing was Juniper Hills (the racefans campground). I often end up having a few too many drinks or in an atmosphere that is not quite wholesome when I go out with them.
I have already made the decision not to put myself in that atmosphere anymore but I'm not sure how to explain it to her. If I tell her I'm not feeling morally right about it then I'm afraid she will think I am judging her and her friends, or that I think I'm better than them. There are times when they get together to play cards or watch movies and I would be more than happy to join them for that.
I have already made the decision not to put myself in that atmosphere anymore but I'm not sure how to explain it to her. If I tell her I'm not feeling morally right about it then I'm afraid she will think I am judging her and her friends, or that I think I'm better than them. There are times when they get together to play cards or watch movies and I would be more than happy to join them for that.
posted by Best of 1980 @ 3:02 PM
9 Comments:
At 9:01 PM,
Jay said…
Well I'll tell ya..I have been in this place and although it was hard to explain, at least I thought it was, I just simply said.. I am trying to change my life, and live the way that I feel I need to right now, I just feel like I need to live a certain way, and I dont want to put myself into a situation where I may be tempted.
But that was a guy on guy thing, and I really didn't care what they thought of me, I was doing what I needed to do. For Me not them.
At 9:18 PM,
Four-Leaf K' lover said…
I think that if your are putting yourself in "temptation zone" then you are doing the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. I don't think you need to really say much more then "the bar thing is not my thing anymore" and live by example.
At 9:22 PM,
Four-Leaf K' lover said…
I just thought of something else. You could be the initiator of getting together. That way, you are controlling (and God=)) the situation. Play cards, watch movies, play games, etc.
At 11:59 PM,
Russell said…
Personally I think they will respect you more for standing up for something. Even if they poke fun at you or say that you're trying to be a goodie-two-shoes, deep down they'll wish they had the guts to do it.
And when they come to a crossroads in their life and are looking for someone or something to help them, guess who they'll look to as a good example.
Take the higher ground. Don't judge them. Just let them know it's not for you and if they want to hang with you, then it will be on your terms. If they don't agree to that, then they aren't your friends.
At 7:50 AM,
wowgirl said…
All good advice...I agree with Russ, everone eventually gets to the point of feeling beyond the bar scene and ultimately you'll feel better inside when you live by your own code. I have a lot of respect for that..they will too...even if they tease you or feel a little threatened.
At 8:22 AM,
Doug E. Pudge said…
Melissa, there are things that ALL of us have to avoid in our lives. What all these folks are basically saying is to just do what you think is the right thing, explain it in a non-threatening/non-judgemental way and it won't be a big deal to them. B4T
At 5:13 PM,
Best of 1980 said…
Thanks for all the good advice and support!! I think I know what to say now and I feel a lot better about doing it!
At 10:57 AM,
where's jim? said…
Praise His Name and what a wonderful example of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. Thanks ODOM...
At 11:56 AM,
Magnanimity said…
Stay busy...
Tell them, "But, I might be able to fit in some cards the next time you play! Give me a ring!"
Sometimes you can tell the "why" and sometimes you can't. Go "You!"
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