Best of 1980

A Warm Heart and A Warm Home

2006-12-15T19:25:00.000-05:00

You know I've been thinking alot about Christmas and what it means. To me it means joy, happiness, and love. Well I'm sure most of you know that we are "financialy challenged" and usually this stresses us out around this time of year. This year has been different, I thought that it really doesn't matter if we get the kids a bunch of gifts I'm just blessed I have 2 and a half healthy children. It doesn't matter if I get Ryan a gift I am just blessed that I have a loving, helpful husband. What matters is that we have love in our home. Well funny thing happened, we were offered presents and dinner for Christmas (giver unknown). This brought tears to my eyes, I feel so loved and blessed that we have people that care about us so much. People who would give to us so freely both with their time and money. So whoever you are (if you read this) thank you a million times over. You have given us more than gifts, you will be giving us love, faith, and comfort of knowing our Christmas will be blessed beyond belief. So here's to a warm heart and a warm home, and to all the people who have given to others. Someday we hope to do the same.

The Working World

2006-11-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

So I started my new job a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you WOW, what a difference going from not working to full-time. I like it though, I work with the 4 yr olds and they are pretty fun and rowdy. I'm also glad that I can take some of the financial burden off Ryan. So my kids are having fun in daycare, my house is a little less clean, I'm extremely tired, and last but not least Ryan and I don't have time together much anymore. Still I praise the Lord everyday, I believe he put me right where I needed to be. Who knows what will happen when the new baby comes but I have faith that things will work out, they always do. Be blessed today!!

One Night With The King

2006-10-18T17:22:00.000-04:00

I saw an awesome movie today the title above, this movie was inspirational to women (and men). It was the story of Queen Esther. It was an awesome story of how with awesome faith we can make history. My favorite line in this movie was......

"Maybe the question to ask is not why we go through trials, but what are our trails asking of us"

So spread the news, this was a great movie and sadly I don't think it's being advertised to much. Be blessed!!

Prayers Please

2006-10-03T10:33:00.000-04:00

Please pray for Ryan and his family as they will be going through a difficult time soon. We just found out last night that Ryan's grandmother has terminal liver cancer, they believe it originated somewhere else in her body and spread to her liver. Ryan is very close to her and she is a wonderful, generous, caring lady. This will be a difficult time for us. Thanks and be blessed!

My kids........

2006-09-29T15:31:00.000-04:00

My kids as with all kids are soooo amusing. We were riding in the car and Ryan and I were talking about what we should be for halloween, Katie chimes in "Daddy you're going to be a booty". So I asked "is daddy going to be a little booty or a big booty", she replies "A big booty". I couldn't help laughing, I'm not sure where she learned booty but the other day she was watching a cartoon that was referring to a pirate booty. So now on to Connor, my sweet little baby who says so much now and these words include the following; "Daddy, owee, bo-bo (the dog), no, taco, sissy, kitty" notice there is no ma-ma in there. Even the dog rates over me, stinky!! Well hope you all have a blessed day!!

My Journey...........

2006-09-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Recently I have felt an urge to share my spiritual journey and myself more with others so I thought hey why not plunge in head first, so here goes........

I was born in Portland, Oregon on Sept 8,1980, we moved to Arizona when I was 5, around this time my parents became divorced, I never had nor do I have a relationship with my father, so my mom was single with 2 kids to raise. Around age 7 my mother remarried Doug, an alcoholic and drug user. Doug didn't really seem like he wanted kids, often times he would lock my brother and I out of the house and we would spend all day in the Arizona heat trying to amuse ourselves. Around this time my brother had some evil placed in his heart and began molesting me, this experience lasted about 3 yrs until my mother divorced Doug and she had no idea what went on until I told her at age 18.

My brother meanwhile had become emotionally distraught and began acting out, stealing, skipping school, doing drugs, etc. Eventually my brother decided to go live with my father. So then my mom met Mark through our church, and when I was 12 we moved back to Oregon leaving my best friend that I loved to death, he seemed like a perfectly nice man but over the years this changed and he became emotionally abusive, unfortunately with my brother now living with my biological father most of this was directed at me. As a teenager I became severely depressed and I began skipping school, at this point we had moved a couple more times and I was tired of being "the new kid" and at 16 I dropped out. I would just go home and watch TV and isolate myself from the world. And I Prayed, constantly I prayed, Lord send someone to love me, help me change myself, help me not hurt anymore. I remember looking out my window so many times in tears and I would see a flock of birds, or a ray of light, or some other sign saying "I'm here". You see at this point in my life I felt like God was all I had, the only one who loved me. I didn't love myself and so I couldn't see the love others had for me, something that I still struggle with today.

So now we come to the day I met Ryan, it was around 10:00pm at night and he came with his Navy buddy who's fiance I worked with. The first time I looked at him my heart jumped into my throat, I assumed that he would not be interested in me because I was 18 and he was 25. He assumed that I wouldn't be interested because he was 25 and I was 18. Needless to say we were drawn together and two weeks into dating I knew that I loved this man, I knew God had gifted him to me and had heard all my prayers. So we were married May 11, 2002 and began our life together. Right around September 11th I fell into a deep depression, I was miles away from my family and I had been going to counseling which I think brought up a lot of unresolved issues that I wasn't ready to face. I began having thoughts of suicide and was admitted to U of M for a few days and put on medication. I was able to work through this problem in time and now I am well.

When Keturah was about 3 months old we moved out this way and Adele kept asking if we would like to come to church, finally we did and my life was changed from that day on. There are so many people in my life now that I know love me. So that is me in a nutshell, now let me just explain a few more things. This was not meant to be a sob story or a pity party, the last thing I want is people to feel sorry for me because although I have experienced a lot of pain I would not change a single thing. I am a firm believer that the Lord used these experiences to mold me into the person I am. I do not blame my brother nor my mother for any pain in my life, my brother was only 7 and did not know the full ramifications his actions would have on me, my mother simply did the best she could with what choices she had made.

Now to get to the point, the power of prayer and God's love has saved my life (literally) I believe that my faith saved me from a life most people who have been through what I have would be lost to. I could have so easily been lost to drugs, alcohol, or promiscuity but I believed, I believed that things could change for the better, that someday I would find the love that I so desperately needed. And while I am still on this journey and sometimes I still go in the wrong direction (inward)I thank the Lord every day for my family because it was all of you who taught me that I was loved and that it is safe to love in return. I still struggle to this day in being open, getting close to people is extremely difficult and awkward, especially towards men. But I will continue to grow, I will continue to love and let myself be loved, and I will pray to my father who although he couldn't wrap his arms around me was there with me all along whether I realized it or not.

My Gratitudes

2006-09-11T10:48:00.000-04:00

As you all know today marks the anniversary of a great loss to our nation, so I thought that I would name a few things that I am grateful for............

My loving husband who works so hard and is considerate enough to watch our kids by himself for a week.

My two beautiful, healthy children.

A roof over my head and food in my cupboards.

My friends and family at church.

Most of all my freedom, freedom from sin, freedom to praise the Lord when and how I choose, freedom to pass this along to my kids.

So what are you grateful for today?

2006-09-01T14:15:00.000-04:00

Hello all, I am having a great time here in the northwest spending time with my mom, the weather is beautiful and supposed to be all week. Just relaxing and enjoying my family, sometimes the simple pleasures in life are the best!!

I'm Off.....

2006-08-29T09:34:00.000-04:00

Well tomorrow I'm off to the Great Northwest to visit my beautiful, sweet mom and other family members. A whole week without the kids, yep they're staying here with Ryan. I'm really looking forward to this week, I can't remember the last time my mom and I got to spend time together just me and her. I will miss my babies terribly though (and Ryan). Well pray for safe travels, and for Ryan, and I will see you all next week. Be blessed!!

Feeling Better

2006-08-25T15:17:00.001-04:00

Well I wanted to say thanks for all of your continued prayers on my behalf. I have been feeling much better since I was put on medication, I still have a couple of lightheaded spells but not nearly as often. So things are looking up, as soon as we get a new battery for the truck I can start leaving my house once in a while, YAY!! I have come across some amusing moments being stuck at home though, the other day I caught Katie in the bathroom talking to her bodily functions. I heard her grunting proceded by a very stern " I'm the boss of you poopy, come out!!" I do not know where she gets this from. Ok ya I do but I'm not at liberty to discuss such things.......

Feeling Better

2006-08-25T15:17:00.000-04:00

2006-08-15T11:15:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful concert on Sunday night, the best thing to me was that when Ryan and I walked back to our car we could still here the band 3 blocks away from the fair. I could hear the girls singing "hallelujah" and as I looked around at the crowds of people it made me smile. It didn't matter what instruments were being used or wether or not there were instruments, what mattered was that hundreds of people wether they realized it or not heard God's voice that night. What a wonderful feeling, good job Captured!!

2006-08-09T08:47:00.000-04:00

Well I got into see the cardiologist and they are pretty certain that I have Neurocardiogenic Syncope. They gave me some medication to try and help and I go in Sept 21st for my ride(tilt test) and then they'll know for sure. It's kinda funny though because I keep becoming increasingly scatter-brained. This morning I had to catch myself before I put a diaper in the laundry basket. When Ryan took me to the doctor the other day I was going to ask him about it but when we left the office Ryan asked "Did you ask the doctor about your forgettfullness" and I said "No, I forgot". Oh well just another day, I can't drive either so here I am making the most of my time.

Latest Guess.....

2006-08-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

So the latest guestimate is that I have Neurocardiogenic Syncope. I have to go sometime in the next week or so and have a tilt test done. A table they strap you to and make you lay upside down, then upright and try to make you pass out, weeeee!! Who needs Cedar Point, I'm my own rollercoaster. I'm not sure when they will schedule this but my consult with the cardiologist is for August 17, so I should know then. Thanks for your continued prayers.

2006-07-18T18:38:00.000-04:00

So it turns out that I don't have Mono. I went back to the doctor today because my heart keeps racing when I do anything besides sit on the couch. They put me on a heart monitor for 24 hrs to see what's going on. I still have all the same symptoms; feeling faint, heart racing, fatigue, no energy. I just hope that they figure it out fairly soon, I'm almost to the point where I can't function. Kinda like when I was on strict bedrest when I was pregnant with Connor and I had a two year old to take care of.....ya, doesn't quite work to well. Hope you all are doing well, be blessed.

2006-07-13T14:56:00.000-04:00

So I haven't really been feeling well lately, I am very fatigued and keep feeling lightheaded. I feel like I'm running a marathon and I get feverish anytime I do light housework. Well this has been going on for a few months so I finally decided to go to the doctor last week, and the official diagnoses is that I have Mono, or as I like to call it, The Ick. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't telling me that I need to rest as much as possible, that may sound nice to some but I'm going to go nuts. Not to mention my kids don't really allow it. So please keep me in your prayers for a speedy recovery, I guess it can last up to 6 mos, grrrrr!! So I went from the funk to the ick, hee-hee.

The funk

2006-07-02T19:25:00.000-04:00

I have decided that I am in a funk. Today's inspirational words from none other than Doug-E-The-Pudge got me thinking about whether or not I hear God in my life. And if I don't, why not? Am I not ready to hear him, or maybe I'm just not listening. I also feel a strong voice in my head lately telling me things I know to be wrong. I fear this is clouding my view of things, or the right voice.

I want to make a change in myself, and I know that I have somewhat. I think that I let fear control most of my decisions, especially when it means I'd have to speak up or reach out to others. Trying to connect to others has been and is very uncomfortable to me but not undesired, and that is where satan has been taking advantage of me.It's sneaky how satan can take advantage of something that you feel is lacking in your life. Creeping into your thoughts, slowly at first but then it feels like he's screaming until you say okay, that's enough!

I need strength, courage, and confidence, all of which are foreign to me. So how do you break down years of fear and self-doubt? How do you get past the wrong voices so that you can hear the right ones? I can't expect others to anticipate my wants or needs, I can't expect them to always reach out to me especially when I seem like I don't want them to. All I want is to know that when I'm gone people will think of me and have a few things to say because they really knew who I was.

Maybe that is my problem, maybe I am afraid to reach out to God as well?

Just a thought.......

2006-06-21T19:45:00.000-04:00

I was reorganizing my links and alphabatizing them and as I was reading down the list I came to Paul,Pete, and the Pudge and I thought hmmmm? Kinda sounds like apostles to me.......just a thought.

Any suggestions?

2006-06-19T15:02:00.000-04:00

I have a friend and neighbor that I have been going out with quite a bit lately and I keep finding myself at a moral crossroads. While I enjoy her and her friends company they often like going out dancing, going to bars, or our latest outing was Juniper Hills (the racefans campground). I often end up having a few too many drinks or in an atmosphere that is not quite wholesome when I go out with them.

I have already made the decision not to put myself in that atmosphere anymore but I'm not sure how to explain it to her. If I tell her I'm not feeling morally right about it then I'm afraid she will think I am judging her and her friends, or that I think I'm better than them. There are times when they get together to play cards or watch movies and I would be more than happy to join them for that.

2006-06-06T09:31:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder why people who live a faithful life struggle so much? And some people who are living a life of sin have it so easy. I'm sure we've all wondered this at some point during our trials, what am I doing wrong?, what are you trying to teach me? Ryan and I were talking about this the other day and it got me thinking that maybe those who go through such terrible times are somehow meant to serve a higher purpose later. That God believes in them enough to "teach" them or "mold" them into something for his purpose. Maybe the people we see around us with all the money and toys aren't spiritualy ready for one of God's lessons in life. So let me ask you this, would you rather lead a life in God's hands allowing him to shape you for his purpose, or would you rather lead a life of ease? I believe we choose which path to take and wether or not we learn anything along the way, I believe God has molded me into the person I am and will be and I wouldn't change a thing.

2006-05-27T13:48:00.000-04:00

I'm really beginning to like this song, and is it just me or is there a spiritual meaning behind it?

Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawlin’
Oh, I reach for you
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m callin’
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m fallin’
And all I see is you
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m callin’
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Hurry I’m fallin’

And all I need is you
Come please I’m callin’
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Funny Kids

2006-05-24T17:50:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning Katie got up and crawled into bed with me, I wanted to lay in bed for a few more minutes so I asked her to tell me a story. She says "ok mommy" "Once upon a time....the end" "Tickle, Tickle Tickle". Not what I was expecting. Later we went to the park with a neighbor of mine, the bathroom was locked so my friends son went and peed on a tree. Katie of course had to go see what he was doing. She looked at the spot where he peed for a second, pulled her pants down and peed right over the same spot. Does that mean she's dominate? I just love the joy these little ones bring to my life.By the way Connor's procedure went very smoothly, thank you for all your prayers. Have a great day!!

Connor

2006-05-16T13:05:00.000-04:00

Connor is going to have tubes put in his ears tommorrow, I know that it is a minor procedure but please keep it in your prayers that all goes smoothly. Thanks and have a blessed day.

Katie and The Ladybug

2006-05-02T10:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Katie found a ladybug in the house. She was so fascinated by it, she played with it for about an hour and named it Carl. She put it in her my little pony house, tried to feed it spaghetti, and protected it from Connor who would probably have eatin it if he had gotten hold of it. She let it crawl on her belly and up her arm until finally mommy decided Carl needed to go back outside to be with his family. It's so cool how when your young even the littlest of things are entertaining or fascinating, it was so cute!!

Praise

2006-04-27T17:36:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to give praise for all of your prayers, it was within a mattter of days that we recieved an answer to our situation. Ryan was offered a couple of good paying jobs with benefits last week and he has decided to go on full time at Lowe's.

It was just so amazing to me how everything worked out right when we were at the end of our ropes, when we felt like we couldn't take anymore. Our marriage was straining, along with our financial difficulties we've been having. It just didn't feel like we were on the right path.

Now I'm kinda embarrassed, even though we knew God had our backs we were still asking the infamous questions "why" or "when". It's funny how when you start to see the end of the storm, start to see the clouds parting it finally dawns on you. Oh, you were trying to teach us something! You had it covered all along! Well I guess that's just human nature though.

2006-04-25T13:33:00.000-04:00

Down again, this world always finds a way to pull me in. Turning in circles so I end up back where I tried to begin.
I don't know what you are trying to teach me because I'm so blinded by my sin that you're finding it hard to even reach me.

So I'll lift my hands up to you and pray, I'll close my eyes and let you lead the way. I know your close so I'll let it all go to start brand new, then I'll fall back into you.

If I leave it all in your hands instead of trying to make my own plans then I know that everything will end up like it should. Through you all my suffering and pain can work for your good. I turn my back on the world and look up to your son, I won't lose hope because my life is ever changing until time on earth is done.

You see me even when I can't see myself, and you know me even when I don't know myself. I know Lord that when I feel like giving up all I have to do is fall back into you.

Very Discouraged

2006-04-20T12:54:00.000-04:00

Kind of the same as Ryan's blog but please pray for us. We are struggling financialy and emotionally, we don't know which direction to take. All this talk about being in the valley, it is so hard to watch people who seem to get through their difficulties in a matter of days or weeks. We feel as if we've been in the valley for years. It all started when Ryan broke his back, he decided to go back to school 2 yrs ago and now we feel that's not really working out. Are we doing something wrong or just being attacked? We are really hurting right now, it feels like the walls are crashing in around us and theres nothing we can do.

Spoiled America

2006-04-17T16:40:00.000-04:00

What do most people think of when they think of America? Land of the free? Land of opportunities? Well one aspect of America that I think is not an ideal image is that most Americans are spoiled. We’ve all been witness to it either out shopping or in a restaurant there’s that person who becomes enraged over something minimal demanding for their money back because there was a pickle on their cheeseburger. A scene such as this reminds me of my three-year-old daughter throwing a tantrum because something wasn’t just the way she wanted. One time I encountered a lady who would not stay at a hotel because they didn’t have the specific kind of sheets she wanted. It makes me wonder why people are this way, instead of being grateful for having something to eat or a warm bed to sleep in they seem dissatisfied with every tiny detail.
Most parents have the common sense to stop their children from having too much of a good thing like candy, toys, or unhealthy activities yet Americans have the highest obesity rate and are constantly over-indulging in drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, etc. They’re are millions of Americans struggling with some sort of addiction. The old statement of “Living the American Dream” has become somewhat of a joke, as people look to material possessions to fulfill their lives and measure with one another how successful they are. People like this will continue to get deeper and deeper in debt constantly buying things they don’t necessarily need or want.
It seems that we’ve become so much more detached from one another and more attached to material things. I’ve seen people buy expensive things and never even use them, It makes me wonder if they are trying to fill some void in their lives, could this be why most Americans are deep in debt? We wonder why are children grow up to be so spoiled when they are watching us spoil ourselves, maybe a more fitting quote that would represent Americans should be “Love Things, Use People” when instead it should be the other way around.
We’ve all heard the saying that “the customer is always right” well that just opens the door for people to manipulate businesses by making unreasonable demands and complaints so that retailers will give them whatever they want. What if I gave my three-year-old whatever she wanted? What kind of person would she turn out to be? Don’t get me wrong, these statements aren’t intended to represent Americans as a whole but they do make up what I think is an undeniable majority of them. All I’m saying is that maybe Americans should take a look around “beyond” what they believe to be their difficult lives and maybe then they would see that even the most poverty-stricken American is a lot richer compared to the majority of the world.
My husband and I made $12,000 last year which is considered below the poverty level yet we still own our own home, have food in our fridge, a roof over our head, and clothes on our back, now you tell me who can say that in a country such as Thailand for example? What if people tried to reach out to each other maybe inviting their neighbor over for dinner instead of competing over who has the better lawn, or instead of turning to food and addictions for comfort why can’t we comfort each other. So often we turn to the television to connect with some sort of life situation, well what if we connected through human relations and not electronic ones, wouldn’t that be more fulfilling than a made up scenario?
When will America begin to change the way they live? When will they be content with what they have instead of endlessly over-indulging in what they want? When will we find that our natural need for social interaction lies through connecting with each other and not through other means? Until Americans begin to change I believe we will be and the rest of the world will continue to view us as spoiled Americans.

2006-04-11T13:35:00.000-04:00

What makes us who we are? I have been learning a lot about myself in the past months through counseling, about who I am and why I'm that way, why I act or react the way I do to certain situations or people. I've learned how the pain inflicted upon me in the past has essencialy shaped who I am.
You see I've learned that my way of "dealing" with my pain was to isolate myself from people or situations in order to protect myself from harm, but what I wonder is has the devil won power over me through this? He wants me to withdrawal, be afraid, and doubt myself. I have a built a wall so unconciously that sometimes I don't even see it blocking my way.
So this is my valley, my challenge, to allow God to use the events in my past for growth in me. I have been too tempted to dwell in the pain, to sink back to that familiar place because it is so comfortable to me, but I WILL NOT give the devil a foothold!! I will not allow him to affect my family through me, if all that's happened to me can and will be used according to God's will than I would never change a moment of my suffering.

My thoughts for the day......

2006-04-06T10:35:00.000-04:00

When I got up this morning and there was a golden glow all around the lake that was so beautiful, I felt like God was saying....."Hello, good morning".

Also I was thinking about a Casting Crowns song..."Set Me Free" (one of my favorite songs)and I had an appifany of sourts. In the lyrics it says this......

Morning breaks another day, finds me crying in the rain. All alone with my demons I am. Who is this man that walks my way, the dark ones shriek, they scream his name. Is this the one they say will set the captive free, Jesus rescue me!!

As the God man passes by he looks straight through my eyes, the dark ones cannot hide. Do you wanna be free? Lift your chains I hold the key.

It made me think how maybe we need to ask God to free us, to seek him to set us free of our demons. Cause you really can't find redemption unless you ask for it, right?

My Church.......

2006-04-04T15:38:00.000-04:00

This is a profile essay I wrote for my writing class...

There are several churches in the small town of Tecumseh, MI, a quaint little village with shops and various restaurants with decorations adorning the main street according to the latest holiday. On Sunday mornings at the Tecumseh Civic Auditorium a church called NewSong Community Church meets at 10:30am. When you walk up to the doors you are immediately greeted with a warm smile and a hug as if you are already known. In the front entrance there are several groups of young and old alike hugging and laughing as they greet each other, they are all dressed in casual, relaxed attire. The men give a quick hug and a firm pat on the back while the women enjoy longer embraces.
Just as you get a good look around several members come up to greet you and welcome you with enthusiasm as if they want to know all about who you are in a matter of minutes. The church band announces the beginning of service and everyone begins to flow into the auditorium, the setup is that of a concert hall with a large stage and a pit which on other days would be for a symphony but today has been dubbed “the prayer pit”. A buzz resembling a beehive fills your ears as everyone takes their seats and the yellow caution tape on the back rows cause everyone to sit together. As you look towards the stage you can see there is not a choir but a full band with three female vocalists, three male vocalists who also play keyboard, drums, guitar and other instruments. When they begin to play your ears are filled with a strong, forceful, inspiring song, one that you would not typically associate with a church service but that you might hear on the radio.
The band named themselves “Captured” and have been asked to play at various functions in the community, while they are greatly enjoyed by the members they have been attacked by other religious groups who claim they are just trying to turn heads. In response the band simply replies “Yes we are trying to turn heads……up to the Lord”.
The band plays through communion and offering with soft, smooth, inspiring songs as well as songs that make you get up to sing and clap. After they finish the crowd is silent as they anticipate the pastor’s sermon. Tom Hawkins, the lead pastor at NewSong walks out onto the stage and begins his sermon. Tom is a middle-aged man, medium build with brown hair and his eyes hold all the love, wisdom, and kindness that define his very personality. His enthusiasm for life is also clearly etched on his features.
As he speaks the crowd listens intently enjoying the lighthearted way it’s delivered. He is not condescending, critical, or judgmental; he does not pretend to be without faults but instead speaks of them openly and humorously. He reads scripture and the teachings of the bible while incorporating them into everyday life; sympathizing with the constant pain and struggle all of us face and its obvious solution, giving the crowd hope through Christ. In fact on the church’s website it states the following:
“We are a church that desires to remain relevant to the community and culture we live in. We want to bring the story of Jesus to your life today. To encourage you and to make you feel comfortable. To be a safe place to come where you won't feel judged or intimidated. We invite you to Come As You Are, baggage and all.” (NewSong Community Church)
At the end of every sermon is an invitation for any and all to come up front with their prayer needs while the band plays yet another inspiring song. The buzz picks up again as people prepare to leave and just as when they were greeting each other there are hugs all around. Some people have said that community churches simply exist to appeal to the masses through their loud music and seemingly entertaining services.
NewSong Community Church is filled with loving people who clearly reach out to their community to bring them into a relationship with Christ. They meet anyone’s needs, sometimes before they even know they have a need. Despite where you’ve been or what you’ve done in your life after visiting NewSong there’s no doubting the love the church has for you, just as Christ loves us all……equally!!

2006-03-30T10:21:00.000-05:00

The zoo.....

2006-03-28T13:06:00.000-05:00

So I took the kids to the zoo yesterday and when we were walking through looking at the Gorillas I said to Katie "Look at that big Daddy gorilla" so she so politely exlaims "Ya that looks like my daddy!!" very loudly I might add. So according to Katie I'm married to a big gorilla with a nice rack!!

Learning.......

2006-03-27T09:45:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about Tom's sermon on Sunday and how it relates to my life at the moment. I think I struggle with "giving" my problems up and trusting in God that everything will work out. I really feel disconnected right now, I want to be a "good sheep" and trust in him and allow him to guide me. I'm not sure if I'm stubborn or if bad habits die hard but that word "trust" is a huge hurdle for me to overcome. It's hard not to let our simple minds get in the way of what God is trying to tell us, for me I think maybe I don't deserve his help (which I know I do but it goes back to the habit thing) or that I'm so used to not trusting anyone that I can't even allow myself to trust in him. It's putting up a block and I'm not sure how to break it down so that I can grow spiritually. Well that's my thought for the day, I'm off to take the kiddies to the zoo on this beautiful day.

Where are we going?

2006-03-21T13:06:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I are struggling greatly with this question right now. Over the past few years major circumstances have altered our life greatly and the directions we thought were the right ones are now coming into question. We just want to do what's right and what God wants us to do but we have NO clue as to what that is. It feels like we're in a maze, we know how we got in but we don't see the way out, and we're to far in to turn around now. We feel stuck and every direction we think about turning in doesn't seem possible!! Are we really going nowhere or does it just feel that way?

2006-03-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

God has not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow,
peace wiyhout pain.

But God has promised:
Stenghth for the day, rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trails, help from above,
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Prayer request....

2006-03-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

My aunt passed away a couple of days ago from various health problems including cancer.I didn't really know her that well she was married to my Uncle who passed away some years ago from cancer also but they have 2 boys, 20 and 19 who are now parentless so I ask that you please pray for them.

My struggle

2006-02-23T14:46:00.000-05:00

You know I've been trying to lose weight (aren't we all) and so far I've done okay but I've noticed a vicous cycle emerging from this battle. The more I focus on losing weight, the more I don't like my body. I'll go all day constantly thinking about what I should eat and what I shouldn't! So I'm beginning to hate food and I keep getting this extreme guilt after I eat.
Everywhere you look there a "pretty" people on tv, on the cover of magazines, everywhere you turn there are diet ads and food ads. At the end of the day I'll do an inventory in my head of all the things I ate and feel just horrible if I think I ate to much, I know this is not a healthy mindframe to be in but it is so hard when all around you there are ads, pictures, and signs telling you what you "should" look like. My mom told me once that she got down to a size 6 and she would look in the mirror and still hate things about herself or think she was still "fat". So please pray for me and all the other women trying to lose weight so that we might accept our limitations and reach our goals in a healthy way. Thanks!!

2006-02-18T12:49:00.001-05:00

Katie and I went shopping the other day and we were at MasterCuts where a lady asked her how old she was, so she held up three fingers on one hand and three fingers on the other hand. I asked her well how many is three and three together, she kinda stared into space for a minute and then said "six". Now I could say that it was pure concidence but I was like "my daughter's a genuis"!! Now Connor on the other hand today was drooling on the floor and was just staring at it as it made puddles in the carpet completely fascinated. Now could that have anything to do with the fact that Katie is a girl and has more of my genes, I think so :)

To Whom It May Concern.........

2006-02-16T17:19:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to give praise and thanks that I have all of you in my life. I was thinking back to a time not so long ago when I totally isolated myself from social situations. Now some of you know more about me than others so those who do will understand this better.
I am so grateful to have people who love me and I love them back, it may seem like a simple thing to some but this is the first time in my life that I have loved more than a few people. Basicly every male in my life that I was supposed to be able to trust (besides Ryan) betrayed that trust in the worst ways. It means more than I can describe that I can trust and love some of the Guys at church. Dougee, Jim, Tom, Slammy, Chris, etc. Where before I would have been extremely uncomfortable in their presence now all I feel is love and acceptance. So I just want to publicly thank the Lord for the change he's made in me. You know it's amazing that I grew up going to various churches and the day that I began to want to change it all was when I met Tom and everyone else!!

(Sappy enough for you?)

A little something I wrote.......

2006-02-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Day after day this whole world always seems to stay the same,
Around and around we turn yet we wonder why we can't ever find our way.

We keep running into our mistakes, our excuses and our pain,
All I need is one more chance to make it right again.

Well can't you see he's standing right by your side?
Your sins forgiven long ago when for you he died.

So come as you are, come as one,
come be a part of the body of his son and
forever we shall live for his will to forgive.

My Baby's One!!

2006-02-08T11:58:00.000-05:00

Connor is turning one tomorrow, I just can't believe how fast these little guys grow. There are so many times that Katie wants to play and I tell her I'm busy. It really makes me stop and think about how I spend my time. Very soon there will come a time when they won't want to play with me anymore. You know when they're 11 or 12 and I'm just going to emberass them all the time, hee-hee. Well maybe I won't be the one to emberass them so much considering who their father is, poor, poor kids!! I kinda think that's a criteria of parenthood, to love them and emberass them.

I'm blessed!!

2006-01-31T16:09:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking about my mother today and how she's been married and divorced three times, how she just seemed to have made bad choices in her life. I thought about my father (an alcoholic ex-vietnam veteran) and then I thought about Ryan. How does one go from the experiences I've had in my life to marrying a wonderful man like Ryan. It seems that from example I should have been doomed to make a poor choice in a man. It just goes to show you the power of prayer, you see when I was a teenager (yes that was just a few years ago!! Ha,Ha) I would pray all the time that I wouldn't make the devastatingly wrong choice in a man. That he would have a good heart and love me for who I was. I believe that is what led me to Ryan, I saw the wonderful man he is and I knew, kinda like a little "psst, here you go". So I just want to say that I've been truly blessed with a wonderful husband and family (that goes for all of you too!)

A new attitude!

2006-01-24T15:50:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been re-examining my attitude towards life in general and I came to the conclusion that I don't have a very good one. My attitude towards others and myself needs a refurbishing of sorts, you see I don't really have much belief in myself or others, always expecting to be let down by life I tend to not see the good around me or in people! I've been making bad choices in my attitude instead of sitting back and enjoying life. Well I have a new theory, I'm going to live my life as if God were standing right in front of me asking me to do (or not do) something, like "spend quality time with your kids" or "don't lose your temper over that" and the hardest one "don't eat that cheeseburger". I think if I keep my mind on doing everything for God I will be a lot less likely to make bad choices. If God loves me the way I am and believes in me yet I don't love myself or believe in myself then isn't that an insult to him?

Katie's Comments

2006-01-17T16:13:00.000-05:00

So you know how kids can be brutally honest? Yesterday Ryan was sitting on the couch watching TV when Katie came up and looked at his chest then looked up at Ryan and said "Daddy, you have pretty boobies" now this might be too much info for some of you but it was too hilarious to not share. That very same day we asked Katie who her best friend was and she said "Reese's Piece's, I love Reese" so Ryan says "Oh great my daughter is the future Keturah Marie Nevins" then Katie replies "Yes Daddy?". So looks like it's an arranged marriage (at least on her side). I tell you these kids are better than anything on TV!!!

Yay I'm In The Loop

2006-01-10T16:35:00.000-05:00

I can finally blog now, today is my first official day of school, it started at 11:00am and I don't get out until 9:30pm, whew!! I am sooo excited though to be starting this adventure (even with the horrible flashbacks to high school!!). I called Ryan a little bit ago and the kids were screaming bloody murder in the background and I felt a slight twinge of guilt at the pleasure I got from that, but the moment passed. Wrong I know! I had to speak out loud in one of my classes and I didn't even panic, for those of you who know me this was no small thing. Just my name, why I'm going to school, yada, yada. I have so much more courage than I used to and with the Lord's help I'll be just as mentally unstable as Ryan soon!!! Hee-Hee